Just a short unexpected bulletin today. I just had to let you into the horror that just occurred. I seem to be growing tusks and turning into some kind of warthog. I was blithely checking myself out in the mirror of the double glazing to ascertain my most photogenic angle, and this is what I saw...
...imagine my horror. Oh.My.Days! I just thought I'd got a bit of twig caught in between my canines but no, they seem to have developed minds of their own and now seem to be pointing in the same direction as my ears and now 90 degrees in the opposite direction like some demented weather vane. The butler is very comforting and tries to persuade me that it's just me shedding my 'baby teeth'. What? Baby teeth, there's nothing juvenile about these gnashers they've made some significant holes in the staff and anything else I chew to while away the long hours of darkness. Anyway, just thought I'd keep you all up to speed not doubt time will tell if I'm to be canine, porcine or some peculiar new species of pig-dog. Que sera, sera and all that.
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